ShareAfter graduating from high school, I felt ready to take on the world. My five close friends from church were all going to different colleges but it didn’t matter. We would stay in touch, be in each other’s weddings and our kids would play together as we grew old. Real life problems seemed far away. I was a sponsor at a youth retreat for my home church one weekend our freshman year when our youth pastor and his wife put me in their car and with tears in their eyes told me the news. One of my close friends, Laurie, had been having intense stomach pains that turned out to be a rare form of liver cancer. I was shocked and felt like a rug had been pulled out from underneath my feet.
As I spent some time alone with God that day, I shouted 'Why? I don’t understand! She is only 19 years old! Please deliver her! Deliver all of us from this!’ In the midst of my cries, the Lord closed my mouth, quieted my heart, and told me to be still before Him and know that He is God. The familiar psalm became real. That day started the battle against cancer, which drew all of us to the throne of God. I saw my precious friend grow weak, lose hair, and hope the next treatment would fare better than the last. I prayed. From Austin, there wasn’t much physical support I could give to Laurie in Fort Worth so I prayed more. I wrote out the names of God and scriptures to correspond with the aspect of the Lord’s character. He was her Banner, her Provider, her Shepherd, and so much more.
The battle continued on for two and a half years, with disheartening news in May 2004. The doctors told Laurie and her family there was no more treatment they could do for her tired body. When she told me the news, she said she was initially upset but the peace that Paul speaks of in Philippians swept over her and she knew everything would be fine. In fact, a few weeks later she sat in my room back in Fort Worth and told me and another dear friend her plans for the summer. She felt that she had been ministered to enough at home, so she was going to intern at a church in Corpus Christi. It was about time she ministered to others somewhere else, she said.
After being in Corpus for a few weeks, she took a turn for the worse, returned home, and went home to her Savior in July. Laurie really didn’t like being in the spotlight, and preferred taking care of details behind the scenes. I don’t think she ever understood why God chose her to go through what she did, but she knew there was a reason bigger than her. One thing Laurie said in her hospital bed the last few days was, ‘This is all worth it if my friend comes to know Christ.’
She definitely made an impact on the girls at the church in Corpus Christi, and her ministry at home also made a difference for eternity. The doctors and nurses were impacted by her faith. Others heard her testimony and reevaluated the direction of their lives after realizing their days are numbered. My heart still hurts. I miss her. I see memories of our friendship, reminding me of her suffering on earth. But her pain is over and in relief I know she is finally healed. She is in the presence of Almighty God, something I still cannot comprehend. And slowly I will be healed too.
How has this affected me? Now I see life as so much more than here and now. 2 Corinthians 4:18 says, “We fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal.” When our eyes are fixed on things above, our priorities become different. We begin to see the value of investing Christ’s love in others. It is something I am starting to value more and more.